Ten reasons Rob Beschizza is dumb
by Tim Faircloth on Jul 31, 2007, 5:23 pm
Who’s Rob Beschizza? He’s the author of this article, entitled Ten Reasons to Throw Away Your Cell Phone. Watch in amazement as I tear apart his reasoning.
It makes your life more complicated
What self-respecting device-o-phile doesn’t love playing around with all the features on his cell phone? And honestly, those features are there for convenience. If you have a better way of keeping your info tucked away, use that instead.
It’s horribly expensive
Pure bullshit, unless he’s comparing it to the alternative to having no phone at all. Let me break it down for you:
A stripped-down, local-calls-only, tied-down-to-a-jack, bare minimum phone line will cost you around $30 per month (usually more) plus all kinds of bullshit fees… which usually averages out to around $40 to $45 a month. A phone line with extra frills (caller id, voice mail, etc)
My half-decent, call-anywhere-I-want-to-in-the-U.S., take-anywhere-i-want-to-in-the-U.S., medium frills (caller id, voice mail, 500 txt messages, and a few other perks) cell phone costs me around $55 per month ($39.95 + bullshit fees).
So for $10 more, I can send text messages, see who I’m talking to before I pick up the phone, talk to anyone I want in the country, and take my phone anywhere in the country I please. I also get the peace of mind that if I’m in a car accident, I have a help line.
It enslaves you to a one-sided contract
So do most other services you subscribe to, most notably a land line.
It makes you perpetually available
Not if you turn it off. Hell, if you have it on vibrate you don’t ever have to answer it if you don’t want to. Having a phone on your person doesn’t necessarily make you available.
It is boring
I totally feel understand the “tsunami hype” surrounding the device-that-must-not-be-named, but I don’t really understand how that makes cell phones boring. Are we in the future? I’d say so. I can be in the middle of nowhere, reach in my pocket, and call my mom. That’s pretty damned cool.
It must constantly be recharged
My cell phone lasts at least a day and a half with no charge (with moderate usage). If I make a call on my (cordless) office phone at 9 am and fail to put it back on the charger, it’ll be dead by 2pm, and that’s assuming I don’t make any more calls.
Besides. Haven’t you ever had a laptop or an RC car or any device that runs on batteries? Yes! It’ll either have to be recharged or the batteries will have to be changed. It’s a fact of life.
It knows where you are
Show me proof that the Government is tracking me and I’ll believe you. People buy those Tom-Tom devices all the time without worrying that the Men in Black will come pick them up someday. Also, it’s a false assumption that you can’t use your GPS antenna for anything. Verizon has a program you can download on your phone so you can use it as a GPS navigator.
It encourages stupid people to become a public menace
You got me there… but I argue that stupid people will be a public menace no matter what. Stupid oxygen thieving mouth-breathers.
Ubiquitous pleather accessory shops
Stupid little shops existed before cell phones. They will exist after cell phones (you know, when we all have communication chips implanted in our brains). Yesterday it was a stupid nick-nack shop, today it’s a cell phone accessories shop, tomorrow it’ll be the office of the latest geek-for-hire business.
It turns you into a public annoyance
Didn’t we already cover this one? Stupid people will always be a public menace no matter what. I personally prefer to keep my cell phone on vibrate, and when I accidentally leave it in “make noise” mode I often apologize for disturbing the peace. Then again, I’d like to think I’m a courteous person.
It’s ok, Rob. At least you (unlike the Suicide Girls) can count up to ten without skipping numbers.
Another reason to hate the iPhone
by Tim Faircloth on Jul 31, 2007, 9:06 am
Ever since June 29th, every mac blog in the world has become an iPhone advertisement. C’mon, folks. It’s a phone. I know it’s made by Apple Inc. (which apparently shits gold) and it’s cool, but… just shut up!
…and it’s not just mac blogs, either. It seems like digg and reddit users up-vote any article that says “iPhone” in the title. For the past month, about half the stories in my “social” rss feeds have been about the iPhone. The new gadget has been reviewed, taken apart, and hacked. Thousands of man hours have been put in to creating apps and web apps specifically designed for it. There have been numerous “why the iPhone (rocks)|(sucks)” top ten lists.
Honestly? I had hoped that the iPhone would tank, but I knew it wouldn’t. I sincerely hoped that I would see a few “this phone sucks” blog posts and that would be the end of it, but I underestimated the fanaticism of Apple fanboys.
Now don’t get me wrong. I like Apple. They have awesome computers, and the iPod and iPhone are wonderful toys. I just think it’s too much.
So here I am, worsening the problem with YAiP (yet another iPhone post). Don’t worry, guys. I doubt I’ll make it to digg.
In other news, I’m sorry for the blog post blackout. I’m not sure what’s come over me. I’ll try to do better.
Anniversary (and a few other things)
by Tim Faircloth on Jul 5, 2007, 12:56 pm
I just realized that my “First Post!” was on January 8th, 2006. I missed my anniversary.
Granted, I didn’t actually start getting serious about posting until January of this year, but still. Happy late anniversary to the slashback blog!
Wow. One year and I still have the placeholders for the banner and footer.
In other news, I’m thinking of changing my domain name. “Slashback” is one of Slashdot’s sections, and I’ll never get a good page rank for “slashback”. The problem is that I can’t think of a new domain name. Anyone got any ideas?
At some point, I’m going to migrate to Wordpress. I haven’t exactly finished everything with this blog yet, but I started writing it to teach myself php and mysql (which I feel I have done), not to necessarily finish the project. I think it’s time to show appreciation for someone else’s hard work by using their product.
Don’t you worry. I’ll probably still keep this copy just for old time’s sake (with comments disabled) if any of you ever feel nostalgic.
Thank you
by Tim Faircloth on Jul 5, 2007, 12:32 pm
Lately, I have observed that I rarely say “thank you”. It’s not that I’m inappreciative when someone does something nice for me, I just don’t use those exact words unless it’s a formal situation. There are other ways of expressing the same sentiment:
Thanks - Usually my choice if someone, say, holds a door open for me. A simple acknowledgment of a kind action. I’ve found that most people don’t even bother saying anything, but honestly I don’t expect it. Small things (like holding a door for someone) are simple courtesy — an alternative to being rude, not something I necessarily go out of my way to do.
Gracias - Spanish for “thank you”. I started with this when I took Spanish classes in high school. I just thought it was cool.
Grazie - Italian. I find it easier to say (fewer syllables), and it’s so much cooler. It’s like saying “Yahtzee” when someone does something for you. I loved that game.
I’ve started to think that it’s actually kinda rude not to actually say “thank you”. Part of the point of the phrase is to stop and formally acknowledge a kind act, and by saying something that’s shorter or easier to say, I’m cheapening that acknowledgment.
Then again, sometimes it’s just more aesthetically pleasing to say something else.
“Thanks for the drink, dude.”
…as opposed to…
“Thank you for the drink.”
Sometimes the situation just calls for a more informal approach, and it actually sounds more appreciative to say “thanks” instead of “thank you”.
Maybe I just have too much time on my hands and I over think things.
9 reasons the new Transformers movie will kick ass
by Tim Faircloth on Jul 3, 2007, 9:13 am
In response to the Suicide Girls post Reasons Why “Transformers” Will Be a Terrible Movie, I’ve decided to counter-point with a few reasons why the new Transformers movie will kick ass.
9) Sam “Spike” Witwicky - Remember the first transformers movie? The Autobots had befriended a boy (Spike) and his father. Spike gets to live the dream that every geek had when they were young — to hang out with a bunch of kickass robots. He even got to wear a suit that kinda made him into a transformer.
8) Shai LeBouf - Honestly, how can you say “LeBouf” and not think it’s a cool name? It’s pronounced “le buff”, which makes him sound like a guy that can kick your ass ‘cause he’s all sorts of muscular.
7) The Autobots are all GM cars - American pride, baby, and they’re not even American. True, GM cars aren’t known to be as well engineered as say, Japanese or German or even Swedish cars, but it’s not like a Transformer is going to throw a rod or something.
(Hey, what happened to number 6?)
5) Optimus Prime has a “flame” design airbrushed onto his gut - True, flames on a bowling shirt or a stupid “rice burner” civic aren’t cool, but this is a flame design on a friggin’ semi truck! That’s actually pretty cool.
4) The cartoon’s tagline was “More than meets the eye” - According to the official Transformers Movie Site, the film’s tagline is “7.2.7 - Get Tickets and Showtimes Now!”. I’m not sure what they’re saying about the movie itself, but it seems like they knew what I wanted. It sucks that they destroyed my plan to see the midnight premiere showing on July 4th, though.
3) Tom Skerritt isn’t in it - ‘cause we don’t need him. We’ve LeBuff.
2) Um, it’s about robots that turn into cars that fight each other - which means there’s sure to be some explosions and crazy mayhem. ‘Nuff said.
1) Michael Bay - Perhaps he’s not the best director in the world, but it’s a simple concept that doesn’t need to be overly art-icized. The major draw of the movie is, well, robots that transform into things and beat the crap out of each other.
(…and just because every geek knows that 0 is the true first number…)
0) It’s every 80s kid’s wet dream - So far, we’ve got live-action versions of He-Man, Ninja Turtles, and now Transformers. Once we get Voltron out of the way, we’ll be all set!
Suicide Girls, just go back to posing seductively in your skivvies (or nothing at all) and leave the geekery to us geeks.
WTF, mate?
by Tim Faircloth on Jul 2, 2007, 11:15 am
Thanks to digg, I happened upon this little gem under then title “I think you’re at the wrong concert, dude”:
After sharing this link with a friend, he said:
ha!
blog it!
Christian Rock Concert
The oxy moron [sic] of our generation
It’s not that rock is anti-Christian per se. More the other way around. Modern Christianity is rather anti-rock.
I’m still not so sure. I guess it depends on what denomination you are.